prayer

1 Comment Posted on Guyuan, Semester 3

Autumn Pace

My mind is running

endless thinking about this and that

lesson planning

proposal writing

travel plotting.

My hands are busy at work

paper crafting

homework grading

letter writing

muffin baking.

So many things started – not many actually finished

but little by little

the pieces are falling into place

coming together

the vision coming to light.

And it’s busy – and exciting – and rather tiring

but my mind running – my hands working – my projects started

all create a drive – a sense of purpose

and meaning.

Taking my mind off the future – the unknown – the overanalyzing

to focus on NOW.

Falling leaves reminding me to

slow down

for the end is coming

time is short

and I can’t afford to waste such a beautiful season in my life.

So I will keep running

keep thinking

keep breathing

keep praying

for the Lord is driving the pace.

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6 Comments Posted on Guyuan, Semester 2

“Secret Garden of Prayer”

I had the privilege of being invited to a Women’s Retreat through another teaching organization last weekend. Our weekend was focused around the idea of the “Secret Garden” in light of prayer practices. It was a wonderful time of reflection, worship, and connecting with other women within Ningxia. 

I can’t say I that I have ever thought of my prayer life as a “secret garden.”

To me, “secret” implies something you don’t want others to see or be a part of. And if you do reveal a secret, say to a friend, you confirm that this friend will keep their lips sealed.

Since moving to China, many times I feel like I am living out a “secret” faith. This has given me a negative taste simply because I feel like much of my faith journey has been about learning to vocalize my faith and appropriately have conversations about it, not suppress it.

Yet Matthew 6:6 proclaims, “But you, when you pray, go to your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.”

Throughout the Psalms we find more images of this “secret place” of the Lord, which promises protection and refuge (Ps. 27:5, Ps. 31:19-20, Ps. 81:7).

So here is my dilemma, due to the religious dynamics in China, my prayer is always within my home in “secret” and my opportunities for communal prayer, very limited. This has led to my “secret garden of prayer” to become stifling, isolating even. As Christians we are instructed to avoid flaunting our faith, to enter our “secret garden” daily to prune. Yet, aren’t we also called to share the beauty of our garden with others as well? Surely there are visiting hours and times when we visit others’ prayer gardens!

In reflecting on my current “prayer garden,” like most people, mine has signs of decay, overgrowth, and neglect. No matter how much pruning and pulling I do, there is always more work to be done it seems. And, if you plant something that isn’t suitable to the soil or climate, your cultivation fails.

During the retreat we visited a “garden” in Yinchuan. The word, “garden” has multiple meanings or images and yet the place we went did not meet any of those images in my mind. We came to a lake, surrounded by brown trees, brown trails, and brown dirt. There were no flowers or organized planting. The only color came from the slight green emerging from the trees, and long rows of yellow-flowering bushes. In my slight disappointment, it suddenly occurred to me that maybe I was trying to cultivate the wrong foliage. I have been trying to keep my American daffodils alive, when I should have been planting new cherry blossoms or something.

In other terms, prayer practices that worked for me a year ago, don’t work the same here. So the uprooting begins! Its time to plant some new bulbs, establish new practices, and adapt my prayer garden environment to be more open and less stifling.

I would love to hear your thoughts as I am in a period of replanting! Feel free to write a “Comment” on your current prayer practices and what works for you!

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3 Comments Posted on Uncategorized

Acknowledging the Call

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Receiving my call to China last week can only be described as a whirlwind! Within 48 hours I had received my placement, interviewed with Amity, responded to this call, and then hopped on a flight to North Carolina. The serenity of the Appalachian Mountains was just what I needed to center my heart. As I met new faces in North Carolina, conversations usually went like this:

  • Person: So you are in school?
  • Me: I actually just graduated in May!
  • Person: Oh, congrats! What are your post-grad plans?
  • Me: Well, I am heading off to China to serve for 2 years as an English teacher.
  • Person: Wow, China!? Do you know Mandarin?
  • Me: Nope.
  • Person: So I assume your degree was in Education?
  • Me: No, not quite.

You can only imagine how insecure I felt answering all these questions with responses that didn’t seem to be adequate! The truth is that my call to China has been shocking. While I had no expectations or aspirations for my placement, I somehow did not expect China. It has been easy to pick out the barriers (as seen in the conversation above). I don’t have a teaching degree nor do I know anything about Asian languages. Additionally, I have minimal time to prepare mentally and physically for this challenge! But yet I trust God’s plan.

While in North Carolina, I had the chance to visit a church camp called Glory Ridge; a camp in which my friend Emily attended as a child and later worked at. Youth groups from all over North Carolina to stay at Glory Ridge for a week of service. Every day the students drive to various parts of the county to serve families and communities. Work projects range from painting a room and building a handicap ramp to re-roofing a house and rebuilding a bridge. In the words of their vision statement, Glory Ridge “is a place of welcome, worship, work, and simplicity where the presence of Christ heals lives and transforms communities.”IMG_6242

In the midst of this peaceful place, I was reminded of our role as servants of Christ. I listened to the prayers of these young middle and high schoolers, who were striving to be the hands and feet of Christ during their stay, and realized that I had not yet prayerfully recognized my call to China. Before leaving for NC I was so caught up in the excitement and stress of what this call meant, that I had not truly given it up in prayer. Glory Ridge allowed me a space to enter into solitude prayer and a burden was released.

TIMG_6418his week I pray for peace in my call in the words of Mother Teresa:

“Silence births prayer, Prayer births faith, Faith births love, Love births service, and service births joy.”